Yesterday I worked, harder and longer than I ever have before. I got more done than most people could do in a week. I had lunch with my cousin, dinner with my dad, and I thought about work the whole time.
It is like my mind has replayed my life before my eyes, but with the filter against affection removed.
Last week I was considering my high-school reunion in August. And I had it in my head that I would only go with someone by my side. I wanted to go back there with a strapping handsome successful man to make me look, what I considered, acceptable to them. Now I don't care. I am going back to have a look at them. I want to see what their idea of achievement is, and if they have come to terms with who they are. I remember a thought I had at school when I figured out my gayness; 'I can't be outcast and gay too'. What bullshit I had accepted!
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